I guess here are some thoughts on football...

I no longer know how writing about football works. This is due to a poor career choice and normal, but uncommon in recent history, league parity. Let's hit some points of interest.

The Browns made the most satisfying trade of the offseason. Brady Quinn is this pretty boy who is literally all face and no arm. He played QB in the prestigious Notre Dame program; won nothing, but got a lot of acclaim for being pretty. Then every team in football passed on him in the draft, until the Browns traded to get a second crack at the first round. They got him. The Cleveland fans spent two-and-a-half seasons chanting the name of this backup fuckup whenever their starter would struggle, then they saw him in action. He was good enough to lose a lot of games, get picked in the flats, and miss completions down field. Absolutely terrible.

Then Mike Holmgren came in, traded the Mighty Quinn to the Broncos for Peyton Hillis.

We'll give immediate props to Hillis for seconding Peyton as a legit first name; mild props to him for coincidentally carrying that first name into an industry that already houses the only other dude in the world named Peyton; and then mega props for being this big, fatty, white guy who can carry a ball forward for almost 5 yards at a time. Yeah. The Browns traded their first-round QB for a fullback, and that fullback turned out to be a quality powerback while Brady Quinn pretends to be in between Tim Tebow and professional football. That's satisfying. Will Hillis be able to run against the Steelers? Highly doubtful. Then again... he ran 144 yards against the Ravens, last week. That's kind of phenomenal for a 6'1", 240 dude who is only 24 years old.

As my old man likes to say whenever Hillis touches the ball: "Ha!... Brady ****ing Quinn!"

Most ridiculous thing: probably Kansas City being undefeated. They're fine. They're probably doing the right things as an organization to right the ship. But they're not 2-0. Not 3-0. Not 8-0, which is what Denver was this time of year in 2009.

San Diego is falling apart in lovely fashion. They were always good, save for one weak link; then they were fake good, due to two weak links; then they were frauds with many weak links; then they were wasting good teams' time in the playoffs for the last couple of years. Here's the specific history: Tomlinson was the best RB of the 2000's, then he got Phillip Rivers at QB, and like 3 basketball player TEs/WRs to compliment him; the Chargers went to a 3-4 when Norv Turner took over; then Norv didn't have the DEs to make it work; then Rivers didn't have the speed receivers; then Norv had the DEs but his NT was always hurt and his secondary sucked; then LT was apparently washed up, even though Rivers was a phenomenal QB with just a brilliant passer rating; then Vincent Jackson, the giant WR wanted out; then the Chargers gutted their run system, kind of traded Jackson, had no NT, no CBs, and pretty much expected Rivers and his TE Antonio Gates to fix everything. Rivers and Gates have been outstanding, thus far. Rivers and Gates do not play special teams or defense. House of cards.

The Ravens SHOULD BE scary. They have a perfectly good defense, complimented -- no! complimenting -- their potentially great offense. Joe Flacco needs to realize that he is the man. Not Ray Rice, not Willis McGahee, not LeRon McClain. Not even fucking Jamal Lewis. Joe Flacco is a good enough QB that Ozzie "best GM in football?" Newsome surrounded him with Derrick Mason, Anquan Boldin, Todd Heap and TJ Houshmandzadeh. That's as balanced a receiving corps as you'll find in football. Especially when you consider that Ray Rice plays the part of the fifth Beatle; receiving in the flats, and shakin'-n'bakin his way for serious yards after catch. First three weeks: Ravens have looked uncertain and scared. Last 30 minutes of week 4: Ravens looked like they might be finding something scary. Flacco can make the passes and Baltimore will work, so long as he follows through and calls up the plays.

I have a lot to say about the Steelers' defense but that will have to wait for later this week. G'night!