DON'T BE A PUSSY COLT!

I've tried writing this post to varying degrees of success in the past. Actually, not varying at all -- they've all ended in the same way: FRANCOfranco says Colt McCoy can't pass and then he, FRANCOfranco passes out and fails to post.

Here...

Here is the definitive drunk post on the subject.

In 2010 there were about 6 or 7 pro-quality QBs available in the draft. Foremost were the big four:
-Sam Bradford
-Tim Tebow
-Jimmy Clausen
-Colt McCoy

Bradford will be fine. He plays for a shit team, but give him a couple of concussions and some 4-12 seasons, and he'll start to want it. He'll want it enough to win, and he's got the talent to win.

Tebow is silly. He's a good player, a silly concept. Josh McDaniels is this 31 year old Super-Bro, who used to work for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, and therefore got the idea that he was good at his job as QB coach. Someone else got the same idea and hired him as the head coach of the Broncos, where, in his second year, he drafted the most polarizing for least impact, rookie ever. Tebow is fine. He's this lefty, fatty QB who isn't really brilliant on his safety reads, but has a fine arm, and more importantly, GREAT legs. While his speed is only B+, his power running is fantastic, and he stops at nothing to gain the extra yard. He absolutely plays the game the right way. The right, inefficient way. That's Tebow. A lot of people thought he'd be the best QB ever; a lot of people thought he'd be the worst; Josh McDaniels thought he'd be a genius for trading up to draft Tebow in the first round. WRONG. You're a genius when you draft Tom Brady in the 6th round, douchnozzle. Anyway, I digress. Tebow will be decent. With a good team, he'll be frustratingly decent.

Jimmy Clausen is this buttplug who played at the prestigious Notre Dame program. Holy bolagna!! He was with the Irish! He must be great! Anyway, he's "eh" and he looks a lot more like a fetus than last "can't miss" Notre Dame signal caller, Brady Quinn.

Ah, and on the subject of the Mighty Quinn, let's talk about his successor at "back up QB whose name is chanted by the mighty fat drunks in the dawg pound." That would be Colt McCoy.

Mr. Colt is 6'1", 220ish. A real QB is around 6'5ish and in the mid 200s. Not that that should make a difference, it just gives you an idea of how out his weight class tis kid is.

Anyway.

Colt's claim to fame is that he owns the all time record for most wins at QB in NCAA history. Yep. The Longhorns fielded some REALLY great fucking teams that Tim Tebow's Gators didn't take that meaningless title.

Let's move on.

Last winter, I was at my parent's house, and my dad was fast asleep on the couch; a roaring fire in the hearth; the BCS championship game on the television. Colt McCoy vs. a good team.

Colt gets hit gently by a lineman; loses his ability to feel his right shoulder.

My dad jerks wide awake! "DON'T BE A PUSSY, COLT!" he yells.

Turns out McCoy had separated his shoulders or some shit like that. The narrative of the entire championship game went to whether he'd come back. At which point my dad said, "Boy, lissen to me. If you were hurt like that I woun'nt let 'em touch you. They can put all the needles in you they want. But you're not playing tonight. That arm is millions. You do not mess with that."

What makes me happy is knowing that million dollar arm is now my old-man's problem.