Why isn't Marvin Lewis unemployed?
I like the dude, don't get me wrong. He's always struck me as a class act, as someone who knows his stuff. But during his tenure in Cinci, they've gone from potentially-super-good to mediocre to incarcerated to mediocre to injured to mediocre to potentially-super-good to terrible. The farthest he's ever gotten is the Wild Card round, and he's always exited it severely beaten.
So.
In a league where wins are the bottom line, and high expectations routinely kill coaches' careers, how is this guy still employed by the Bengals?
That's question 1, I have for you. And I imagine it will be moot no later than the end of February, 2011.
----
Question 2: who's better? Jets or Pats?
Who the fuck cares, is the answer.
Seriously. One step at a time. Only one can win the AFC championship, and if either does, it's unlikely that the other will have stood directly in its way. My advice: take them both seriously, but don't worry too terribly much. They're the class of the AFC, but they're not invincible.
----
Lesson in play calling:
Double coverage brackets are when you pull a safety out of Cover 2 and assign him to a WR who is already being trailed by a corner. This becomes a Cover 1, Double X, Y or Z. You don't call one of these coverages unless you see a QB drop into the shotgun with at least one, preferably two sidecars. If he's willing to limit his receiving options from 5 to 3, it's safe to only go with a cover 1 shell, and double trail a top threat receiver.
----
Next up: Practice squads. What you don't know, and what you need to know to keep from being cut!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Pre-game for Pats-Steelers
First, let's raise a glass to Matt Ryan and not-so-dirty-birds in Atlanta, for beating our friends from Baltimore the other night. 60 excellent minutes of football; no one was cheated. Joe Flacco may not be as complete as we thought. The arm strength and accuracy are there; the borderline mobility is there; but that guy just isn't stepping up and dominating like he should be.
Anyway.
As far as us playing the Pats: it all comes down to defense. New England is known for trading away players at their highest level of production for draft picks, and let me tell you, those draft picks have been spent on defense.
Vince Wilfork, the pro-bowl NT is the only member of the unit to hail from the Super Bowl cheat teams of the early 2000s. He's still very good. Casey Hampton good. Short, fat dude who can just eat up space and make a tackle while he has someone riding him. The potential weakness of the Pats' line is to either side of Wilfork. Gerard Warren was a fuckup from the early years of the expansion era Browns; really a bad 4-3 DE, probably an equally mediocre 3-4 end. On the other side is Brandon Deaderick, who was a 7th round pick from this year. He's had early success this season, and I imagine he gets included in pass rushing packages, much like Brett Keisel does. Only thing that makes me wonder about him is his age and experience. Seems a little like beginners luck.
The linebacking corps. is excellent. The two middle backers are the best in the game, and they're fucking young. Jared Mayo and Brandon Spikes live to eat up running backs. I say the way to approach them is the same as what we used to have to do against Ray Lewis: run right at them. They're more than capable of dropping into coverage and picking passes if we let them. The only way they look bad is if they get tired. Best way to tire them is to make them work. Send Mendy right up the gut.
The NE corners and safeties are half excellent, half piece-meal. They mostly make their tackles, and when they don't, that's when the Pats lose. Kind of like our situation.
The joy for me, in watching a game like this, is comparing pass-defenses. Watch us stack 1-5s and 2-4s at the line, and watch the Pats bring off center 3-3s, or 3 man fronts made entire of linebackers for dime situations.
As far as offense goes, let's just take the ball away from them. Tom Brady doesn't miss his targets, and his targets are very good at slipping under the big hit. That means you either need to kill Brady right before he throws the ball, or you have to be there before the ball gets to the receiver. As much as I love to see Brady hurt and on the ground, I love it even more when we're returning his pansy ass 80 yard bombs for six points.
Watch out for their rookie TE, Aaron Hernandez. Dude can play.
Anyway.
As far as us playing the Pats: it all comes down to defense. New England is known for trading away players at their highest level of production for draft picks, and let me tell you, those draft picks have been spent on defense.
Vince Wilfork, the pro-bowl NT is the only member of the unit to hail from the Super Bowl cheat teams of the early 2000s. He's still very good. Casey Hampton good. Short, fat dude who can just eat up space and make a tackle while he has someone riding him. The potential weakness of the Pats' line is to either side of Wilfork. Gerard Warren was a fuckup from the early years of the expansion era Browns; really a bad 4-3 DE, probably an equally mediocre 3-4 end. On the other side is Brandon Deaderick, who was a 7th round pick from this year. He's had early success this season, and I imagine he gets included in pass rushing packages, much like Brett Keisel does. Only thing that makes me wonder about him is his age and experience. Seems a little like beginners luck.
The linebacking corps. is excellent. The two middle backers are the best in the game, and they're fucking young. Jared Mayo and Brandon Spikes live to eat up running backs. I say the way to approach them is the same as what we used to have to do against Ray Lewis: run right at them. They're more than capable of dropping into coverage and picking passes if we let them. The only way they look bad is if they get tired. Best way to tire them is to make them work. Send Mendy right up the gut.
The NE corners and safeties are half excellent, half piece-meal. They mostly make their tackles, and when they don't, that's when the Pats lose. Kind of like our situation.
The joy for me, in watching a game like this, is comparing pass-defenses. Watch us stack 1-5s and 2-4s at the line, and watch the Pats bring off center 3-3s, or 3 man fronts made entire of linebackers for dime situations.
As far as offense goes, let's just take the ball away from them. Tom Brady doesn't miss his targets, and his targets are very good at slipping under the big hit. That means you either need to kill Brady right before he throws the ball, or you have to be there before the ball gets to the receiver. As much as I love to see Brady hurt and on the ground, I love it even more when we're returning his pansy ass 80 yard bombs for six points.
Watch out for their rookie TE, Aaron Hernandez. Dude can play.
Monday, November 8, 2010
My stomach has been emotionally wrecked by that game
First of all: that should not have counted as beating the spread. That shit was a lot closer than the win over the Dolphins.
Let's go over the day's stories:
1. Wade Phillips fired. No shit. Marvin Lewis next?
2. Joe Morgan and Jon Miller set to split up?? Say it ain't so! What will we do when Sunday Night Baseball isn't enough and we need meta-baseball?
3. I went to Hoover Dam today; saw no less than four yinzers decked out in Steelers gear. Two #43s, one #86, and a fat woman wearing a Pittsburgh jacket.
Back to the game. Let's list things in order of awful to impressive.
-Most awful thing: the pass blocking of both teams. Just unbelievable how fucking terrible those dudes were. Dick LeBeau sends a nickleback blitz about two or three times a game, never with the intention of hitting the QB, but rather to loosen up a hole where a LB can penetrate, or perhaps just to occupy a halfback or tightend as a blocker. But no. Tonight was a night when William Motherfucking Gay penetrated no less than three times, and made solid contact with Carson Palmer. Shame on Cinci's center and those lazy bastard sidecars, assigned to keep Palmer clean.
-Injuries were pretty awful. I can't tell you how much I HATE losing Brett Keisel. Yes, the Bungles had trouble in pass blocking, but just imagine what it would have looked like had they had to deal with both Keisel and Harrison coming from the same side. It also made me die a little bit inside, seeing Maurkice Pouncey hobble to the sidelines. Fucking champion that he is, he inserted himself back into the game and calmed down the rabble that is our front five.
-The string of penalties that scored 7 points for Cinci sucked. Not that we didn't deserve some of those flags, but at least 2 of the 3 should have been canceled out by blatant holding calls. My host father, who isn't accustomed to our struggle, was floored by how flagrant the uncalled choke holds were on Woodley and Harrison.
-William Gay sucks. Yes, he blocked a punt, and that's always awesome, but man, does he not do a great job in one-on-one situations. That first TD, where Owens just bowled the dude over... you've got to be kidding me. Also: whose idea was it to leave the NB on their most physical receiver?
-The total lack of physicality out of Cinci's rookie receiver and TE was pitiful. The MNF crew pointed it out repeatedly, but Shipley and Gresham were just afraid to run over the middle. And of course, when they finally did, neither could hold onto the ball while being hit.
-Ziggy Hood was a non-factor. His name wasn't called all night, and for the first time in a long time, we saw Big Snack and Chris Hoke line up in the 2-4, and even in the 1-5, while Nick Eason played by the upright lineman. The point of the packages is that they allow our fatties to breathe, not anchor a pass rush. Where was Ziggy on those? And why was Woodley having such a difficult time staying clean on the edge? Weak stuff.
-IKE!
-Chad Ochocinco was pathetic, but this isn't out of character for him. Not against us, at least. If you've never understood what the big deal is with #85, it's for this reason: he's had not success against the Black & Gold, throughout his distinguished career. Against the Browns, he's scored 66 points; against the Ravens, 42 points. Against us? Try 18 points. He's a finesse receiver, good at coming back on the ball, and then weaving through open space with it. Against a team like ours, where we hit the receiver immediately after the catch, he's garbage.
-The Steelers' run blocking was a bit above-suck. Not great, by any stretch. In fact, they owe a lot to a certain back to named later. But that said, later in the game, they sealed up holes and created lanes.
-The Bengals' run blocking was just slightly better than the Steelers'. They were consistently opening lanes, and if they played 4-down offense all game, they'd have had more rushing scores and much longer drives.
-Our use of Mike Wallace is fun, but it has to improve. He's so fucking good, and Ben Roethlisberger should be fined every time he underthrows the guy. Randle El's pass was good for a non-QB, but even then, had it not been for Leon Hall losing the ball in the lights, that's pickable. If we're throwing downfield to #17, it has to take him to the back of the endzone. Other than that, Wallace is great.
-My host father made the point that Hines Ward is getting fat. Maybe he is bulking up, but his blocking looked all the better for it. Bubble screens? Good idea when we're trying to improvise a gameplan without Pouncey. Maybe a better idea when we still had Santonio.
-Matt Spaeth looked decent as a receiving option. Miller looked as great as ever.
-Skippy should have missed the 53 yarder and nailed the 46er. Evened out in the end; no big deal. His kick offs have had more umpff, and have allowed our suddenly-inspired special teams to take over.
-Sepulveda's average punt distance is still lacking. That said, his hang time is immaculate. Maybe he's just great and I shouldn't worry about him.
-James Farrior is not fast, but goddamn did he look like a fucking cheetah out there. Amazing penetration for a sack; great sideline to sideline coverage in the flats.
-GADGET PLAY!
-Timmons name wasn't mentioned a ton, except for the pick, but his presence was felt. He manned his zones perfectly, and allowed our pass rushers to pound away at Cinci's OTs.
-Cincinnati's corners, Hall and Joseph, are really quite special. That we were able to bang them up with our run game was testament to good play calling (hear that, BA?? It's possible for me to not hate you!).
-Ben Roethlisberger's performance without an O-line was sensational. He threw 26 good passes, and 1 bad one, which he never had a grip on. Excellent game; not reflected in the stats.
-Terrell Owens is such a talented asshole. I often talk about how Chad Ochocinco can't take over a game, can't dominate a game. What I'm referring to when I say a WR is taking over, is what TO did tonight. He got hit a ton, but refused to drop the ball. He played up to his size, and used it to compensate for speed when he had to. And how much did you love it when he cussed out his QB, or sulked on the sidelines? Class act, all around.
-Rashard Mendenhall was a hero. He did four things that make him the standout player of the game:
Oh boy, was that fun. Glad to be back at the typewriter on nights like this.
Let's go over the day's stories:
1. Wade Phillips fired. No shit. Marvin Lewis next?
2. Joe Morgan and Jon Miller set to split up?? Say it ain't so! What will we do when Sunday Night Baseball isn't enough and we need meta-baseball?
3. I went to Hoover Dam today; saw no less than four yinzers decked out in Steelers gear. Two #43s, one #86, and a fat woman wearing a Pittsburgh jacket.
Back to the game. Let's list things in order of awful to impressive.
-Most awful thing: the pass blocking of both teams. Just unbelievable how fucking terrible those dudes were. Dick LeBeau sends a nickleback blitz about two or three times a game, never with the intention of hitting the QB, but rather to loosen up a hole where a LB can penetrate, or perhaps just to occupy a halfback or tightend as a blocker. But no. Tonight was a night when William Motherfucking Gay penetrated no less than three times, and made solid contact with Carson Palmer. Shame on Cinci's center and those lazy bastard sidecars, assigned to keep Palmer clean.
-Injuries were pretty awful. I can't tell you how much I HATE losing Brett Keisel. Yes, the Bungles had trouble in pass blocking, but just imagine what it would have looked like had they had to deal with both Keisel and Harrison coming from the same side. It also made me die a little bit inside, seeing Maurkice Pouncey hobble to the sidelines. Fucking champion that he is, he inserted himself back into the game and calmed down the rabble that is our front five.
-The string of penalties that scored 7 points for Cinci sucked. Not that we didn't deserve some of those flags, but at least 2 of the 3 should have been canceled out by blatant holding calls. My host father, who isn't accustomed to our struggle, was floored by how flagrant the uncalled choke holds were on Woodley and Harrison.
-William Gay sucks. Yes, he blocked a punt, and that's always awesome, but man, does he not do a great job in one-on-one situations. That first TD, where Owens just bowled the dude over... you've got to be kidding me. Also: whose idea was it to leave the NB on their most physical receiver?
-The total lack of physicality out of Cinci's rookie receiver and TE was pitiful. The MNF crew pointed it out repeatedly, but Shipley and Gresham were just afraid to run over the middle. And of course, when they finally did, neither could hold onto the ball while being hit.
-Ziggy Hood was a non-factor. His name wasn't called all night, and for the first time in a long time, we saw Big Snack and Chris Hoke line up in the 2-4, and even in the 1-5, while Nick Eason played by the upright lineman. The point of the packages is that they allow our fatties to breathe, not anchor a pass rush. Where was Ziggy on those? And why was Woodley having such a difficult time staying clean on the edge? Weak stuff.
-IKE!
-Chad Ochocinco was pathetic, but this isn't out of character for him. Not against us, at least. If you've never understood what the big deal is with #85, it's for this reason: he's had not success against the Black & Gold, throughout his distinguished career. Against the Browns, he's scored 66 points; against the Ravens, 42 points. Against us? Try 18 points. He's a finesse receiver, good at coming back on the ball, and then weaving through open space with it. Against a team like ours, where we hit the receiver immediately after the catch, he's garbage.
-The Steelers' run blocking was a bit above-suck. Not great, by any stretch. In fact, they owe a lot to a certain back to named later. But that said, later in the game, they sealed up holes and created lanes.
-The Bengals' run blocking was just slightly better than the Steelers'. They were consistently opening lanes, and if they played 4-down offense all game, they'd have had more rushing scores and much longer drives.
-Our use of Mike Wallace is fun, but it has to improve. He's so fucking good, and Ben Roethlisberger should be fined every time he underthrows the guy. Randle El's pass was good for a non-QB, but even then, had it not been for Leon Hall losing the ball in the lights, that's pickable. If we're throwing downfield to #17, it has to take him to the back of the endzone. Other than that, Wallace is great.
-My host father made the point that Hines Ward is getting fat. Maybe he is bulking up, but his blocking looked all the better for it. Bubble screens? Good idea when we're trying to improvise a gameplan without Pouncey. Maybe a better idea when we still had Santonio.
-Matt Spaeth looked decent as a receiving option. Miller looked as great as ever.
-Skippy should have missed the 53 yarder and nailed the 46er. Evened out in the end; no big deal. His kick offs have had more umpff, and have allowed our suddenly-inspired special teams to take over.
-Sepulveda's average punt distance is still lacking. That said, his hang time is immaculate. Maybe he's just great and I shouldn't worry about him.
-James Farrior is not fast, but goddamn did he look like a fucking cheetah out there. Amazing penetration for a sack; great sideline to sideline coverage in the flats.
-GADGET PLAY!
-Timmons name wasn't mentioned a ton, except for the pick, but his presence was felt. He manned his zones perfectly, and allowed our pass rushers to pound away at Cinci's OTs.
-Cincinnati's corners, Hall and Joseph, are really quite special. That we were able to bang them up with our run game was testament to good play calling (hear that, BA?? It's possible for me to not hate you!).
-Ben Roethlisberger's performance without an O-line was sensational. He threw 26 good passes, and 1 bad one, which he never had a grip on. Excellent game; not reflected in the stats.
-Terrell Owens is such a talented asshole. I often talk about how Chad Ochocinco can't take over a game, can't dominate a game. What I'm referring to when I say a WR is taking over, is what TO did tonight. He got hit a ton, but refused to drop the ball. He played up to his size, and used it to compensate for speed when he had to. And how much did you love it when he cussed out his QB, or sulked on the sidelines? Class act, all around.
-Rashard Mendenhall was a hero. He did four things that make him the standout player of the game:
1. He protected the football.Mendy showed that he has an improved sense of technique, vision, and discipline. Life will get very, very good if we can trust him with the ball, even as all his blockers are pooping themselves.
2. He drove his shoulder into unsuspecting DBs and gained extra yards because of it.
3. He improvised brilliant routes, avoiding contact to gain extra yards when he realized he could.
4. He didn't fuck around when asked to drive straight into a pile, even when it wasn't working.
Oh boy, was that fun. Glad to be back at the typewriter on nights like this.
FUCK THE BENGALS
Going through some league business:
-As I said a couple weeks ago, Peyton Hillis: best trade of the season. Yahoo! has a featured article on it, and tomorrow they'll have video to boot. Don't be fooled, you heard it here first.
-3rd round pick for player-to-be-cut-later: worst trade of the season. Brad Childress is an asshat, or as my MOB friend says "he's that guy at temple that my dad avoids at all costs."
-My job is finally over so I can now follow notrugbyball. Huzzah!
As for Monday Night Football:
Second only to perennially over-hyped Dallas, the Bengals have been the biggest flop of 2010. Meanwhile, the steadily built Stillers have caught the non-believing world by surprise. Both of these things mean little, so far as Monday night is concerned.
The Bengals still have two explosive receiving weapons, and two fantastic corners. They also possess a rock solid QB and excellent front seven. If I told you they had a good O-line, wouldn't that be enough for you to excuse that I said nothing of their safeties or running backs? Truth is, they're solid in every unit.
The Steelers are solid, even above solid in every unit. We have the least question marks of any team out there. The only thing that concerns the black and gold is DE play. Aaron Smith won't be back, but his elite protege, Ziggy Hood will have a chance for a coming out party on national TV. Will Brett Keisel be ready? That's doubtful, and it's even more doubtful that Nick Eason has anything more to prove in front of the network viewers.
Mike Wallace looks like the standout sophomore of the AFC North. Mark Sanchez and Matt Stafford are both challenging him across the NFL in general, but the 3rd round pick out of Ole Miss could have what it takes to join the ranks of Swann, Stallworth and Ward, and that's all that matters to us. While Santonio used to get beat up by Bengal LBs, expect Wallace to not only outrun their secondary, but come back for a few licks of his own. His play was significantly escalated by the physicality of the New Orleans game, and I expect him to take his cues from #86 to make these striped wieners pay.
Daniel Sepulveda put up extraordinary numbers in preseason, and extraordinary numbers before the bye. He was in the 48-50 yard range, per punt. Then he had a few games that brought him back down. Without doing any math, or reasoning that maybe the last several games all required him to shorten up so that he could pin our opponents within the 10 yard line every time, I'm just going to assume his leg is losing something. This wouldn't be unnatural: kicking a football half the distance of the field four to seven times a day is really fucking unnatural; losing that ability incrementally over the course of half a year is natural. In any case, let's look at hang time, distance, placement, and then his general form. I have a feeling it's half numbers and half physiology, and the game will tell.
I'm happy to say Lawrence Timmons is officially the backer we all said he was going to be. He's an absolute menace up the middle, can spell James Farrior, and can rush the passer with the best of them. If our makeshift D-line can hold its own, I expect him to be an X-factor to beat the Bengals.
How is it that our corners can play such great games after playing such weak ones? Ike and McFadden looked All-World in New Orleans; remember watching them in Atlanta or Tennessee?
I will be surprised if both James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley are starting by the end of 2012.
Loved the dual back formations against the Saints. Honestly, didn't think it hurt at all. Would like to see that as the base, with singleback mixed in on second and third downs, every two to three series; sort of like we did in the 2005 playoffs... but whatever. Long live Dan Kreider.
-As I said a couple weeks ago, Peyton Hillis: best trade of the season. Yahoo! has a featured article on it, and tomorrow they'll have video to boot. Don't be fooled, you heard it here first.
-3rd round pick for player-to-be-cut-later: worst trade of the season. Brad Childress is an asshat, or as my MOB friend says "he's that guy at temple that my dad avoids at all costs."
-My job is finally over so I can now follow notrugbyball. Huzzah!
As for Monday Night Football:
Second only to perennially over-hyped Dallas, the Bengals have been the biggest flop of 2010. Meanwhile, the steadily built Stillers have caught the non-believing world by surprise. Both of these things mean little, so far as Monday night is concerned.
The Bengals still have two explosive receiving weapons, and two fantastic corners. They also possess a rock solid QB and excellent front seven. If I told you they had a good O-line, wouldn't that be enough for you to excuse that I said nothing of their safeties or running backs? Truth is, they're solid in every unit.
The Steelers are solid, even above solid in every unit. We have the least question marks of any team out there. The only thing that concerns the black and gold is DE play. Aaron Smith won't be back, but his elite protege, Ziggy Hood will have a chance for a coming out party on national TV. Will Brett Keisel be ready? That's doubtful, and it's even more doubtful that Nick Eason has anything more to prove in front of the network viewers.
Mike Wallace looks like the standout sophomore of the AFC North. Mark Sanchez and Matt Stafford are both challenging him across the NFL in general, but the 3rd round pick out of Ole Miss could have what it takes to join the ranks of Swann, Stallworth and Ward, and that's all that matters to us. While Santonio used to get beat up by Bengal LBs, expect Wallace to not only outrun their secondary, but come back for a few licks of his own. His play was significantly escalated by the physicality of the New Orleans game, and I expect him to take his cues from #86 to make these striped wieners pay.
Daniel Sepulveda put up extraordinary numbers in preseason, and extraordinary numbers before the bye. He was in the 48-50 yard range, per punt. Then he had a few games that brought him back down. Without doing any math, or reasoning that maybe the last several games all required him to shorten up so that he could pin our opponents within the 10 yard line every time, I'm just going to assume his leg is losing something. This wouldn't be unnatural: kicking a football half the distance of the field four to seven times a day is really fucking unnatural; losing that ability incrementally over the course of half a year is natural. In any case, let's look at hang time, distance, placement, and then his general form. I have a feeling it's half numbers and half physiology, and the game will tell.
I'm happy to say Lawrence Timmons is officially the backer we all said he was going to be. He's an absolute menace up the middle, can spell James Farrior, and can rush the passer with the best of them. If our makeshift D-line can hold its own, I expect him to be an X-factor to beat the Bengals.
How is it that our corners can play such great games after playing such weak ones? Ike and McFadden looked All-World in New Orleans; remember watching them in Atlanta or Tennessee?
I will be surprised if both James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley are starting by the end of 2012.
Loved the dual back formations against the Saints. Honestly, didn't think it hurt at all. Would like to see that as the base, with singleback mixed in on second and third downs, every two to three series; sort of like we did in the 2005 playoffs... but whatever. Long live Dan Kreider.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Week seven flash!
The Steelers endured about 9 months without their starting QB. The Dolphins have gone over 4,000 days without a franchise signal-caller. And while they show moments of brilliance with defense, run schemes and pass blocking, they just can't unify anything. This is due to the lack of a strong offensive leader.
Ed Reed is back. That's not great news for football outside of Stabimore. Ed Reed's essence could be what the dirty birds need to put it all together. Truthfully, they should be the team to beat. And while it seems like the offense has been the unit to stall out, just wait for them to relax into the game knowing that they have the best secondary in the AFC. It will happen.
As a sidenote: has anyone else noticed what a murderous fatty Ray Lewis has become? He's always been bulky, but holy cannoli! He's Levon Kirkland level chunky! Lewis has basically forsaken any moves he once had for sheer massiveness, and the ability to stop and kill anything that comes towards him.
The Colts are old men who can still win. Think Boston Celtics, circa 2008-2013. These guys really shouldn't be playing contact sports, but the thing is they're all still really good. This week Dallas Clark went out with a season ending injury. My guess is that this won't be a back breaker for Indy. Manning has never had a problem grooming a young receiver and making sure he works his ass off into the starting rotation. Clark was a good, if overvalued weapon in the Colt playbook. Undersized TE, with far better receiving than power skills; excellent at running routes that crossed the field, or split to the corner. Had the decided advantage of being the safety valve for the best passer in history, ever, while running under two or three of the best WRs in the game, at any time.
James Harrison is still a dirty thug, no matter what Josh Cribbs said. In case you missed it, Cribbs -- one of the TWO guys Harrison concussed in a matter of THREE minutes -- said this week that #92 didn't do anything wrong. For as much as he's haunted us, I really do like Josh Cribbs. As Jim Brown said "he's a spiritual force." He plays the game the right way. He never shies away from anything, and he makes violent plays, especially for a return specialist. That said... he's wrong. James Harrison did do something wrong. Hitting a man in the head with a hard object is wrong. There was an incident in minor league hockey where a head hit was so brutal, the police prosecuted it. This is fair and well and good. Just because something's a sport, doesn't mean we, human beings, are allowed to commit murder, or near murder or attempted murder.
It strikes me as funny... you'll hear a lot from our dads about how football is no longer manly. How the good old days in the 70s or 60s or even 50s were what football was really about. Now, if you've ever watched clips from any of the Steelers' 70s Super Bowls, you'd know how fantastically awesome and chilling some of those old-timey hits were. QBs were regularly slammed into the ground; WRs were hit in the legs before they were close to the ball; O-linemen had their heads slapped by 300 pound men as they tried to stay set. It was a brutal fucking display of no regulation, steroids, and baby boomer lust for gratuity.
Great.
Now let's make a rule that says you can't murder a person in the head.
If James Harrison wants to play Jack Lambert football instead of Roger Goodell football, that's going to be difficult.
Ed Reed is back. That's not great news for football outside of Stabimore. Ed Reed's essence could be what the dirty birds need to put it all together. Truthfully, they should be the team to beat. And while it seems like the offense has been the unit to stall out, just wait for them to relax into the game knowing that they have the best secondary in the AFC. It will happen.
As a sidenote: has anyone else noticed what a murderous fatty Ray Lewis has become? He's always been bulky, but holy cannoli! He's Levon Kirkland level chunky! Lewis has basically forsaken any moves he once had for sheer massiveness, and the ability to stop and kill anything that comes towards him.
The Colts are old men who can still win. Think Boston Celtics, circa 2008-2013. These guys really shouldn't be playing contact sports, but the thing is they're all still really good. This week Dallas Clark went out with a season ending injury. My guess is that this won't be a back breaker for Indy. Manning has never had a problem grooming a young receiver and making sure he works his ass off into the starting rotation. Clark was a good, if overvalued weapon in the Colt playbook. Undersized TE, with far better receiving than power skills; excellent at running routes that crossed the field, or split to the corner. Had the decided advantage of being the safety valve for the best passer in history, ever, while running under two or three of the best WRs in the game, at any time.
James Harrison is still a dirty thug, no matter what Josh Cribbs said. In case you missed it, Cribbs -- one of the TWO guys Harrison concussed in a matter of THREE minutes -- said this week that #92 didn't do anything wrong. For as much as he's haunted us, I really do like Josh Cribbs. As Jim Brown said "he's a spiritual force." He plays the game the right way. He never shies away from anything, and he makes violent plays, especially for a return specialist. That said... he's wrong. James Harrison did do something wrong. Hitting a man in the head with a hard object is wrong. There was an incident in minor league hockey where a head hit was so brutal, the police prosecuted it. This is fair and well and good. Just because something's a sport, doesn't mean we, human beings, are allowed to commit murder, or near murder or attempted murder.
It strikes me as funny... you'll hear a lot from our dads about how football is no longer manly. How the good old days in the 70s or 60s or even 50s were what football was really about. Now, if you've ever watched clips from any of the Steelers' 70s Super Bowls, you'd know how fantastically awesome and chilling some of those old-timey hits were. QBs were regularly slammed into the ground; WRs were hit in the legs before they were close to the ball; O-linemen had their heads slapped by 300 pound men as they tried to stay set. It was a brutal fucking display of no regulation, steroids, and baby boomer lust for gratuity.
Great.
Now let's make a rule that says you can't murder a person in the head.
If James Harrison wants to play Jack Lambert football instead of Roger Goodell football, that's going to be difficult.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
DON'T BE A PUSSY COLT!
I've tried writing this post to varying degrees of success in the past. Actually, not varying at all -- they've all ended in the same way: FRANCOfranco says Colt McCoy can't pass and then he, FRANCOfranco passes out and fails to post.
Here...
Here is the definitive drunk post on the subject.
In 2010 there were about 6 or 7 pro-quality QBs available in the draft. Foremost were the big four:
-Sam Bradford
-Tim Tebow
-Jimmy Clausen
-Colt McCoy
Bradford will be fine. He plays for a shit team, but give him a couple of concussions and some 4-12 seasons, and he'll start to want it. He'll want it enough to win, and he's got the talent to win.
Tebow is silly. He's a good player, a silly concept. Josh McDaniels is this 31 year old Super-Bro, who used to work for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, and therefore got the idea that he was good at his job as QB coach. Someone else got the same idea and hired him as the head coach of the Broncos, where, in his second year, he drafted the most polarizing for least impact, rookie ever. Tebow is fine. He's this lefty, fatty QB who isn't really brilliant on his safety reads, but has a fine arm, and more importantly, GREAT legs. While his speed is only B+, his power running is fantastic, and he stops at nothing to gain the extra yard. He absolutely plays the game the right way. The right, inefficient way. That's Tebow. A lot of people thought he'd be the best QB ever; a lot of people thought he'd be the worst; Josh McDaniels thought he'd be a genius for trading up to draft Tebow in the first round. WRONG. You're a genius when you draft Tom Brady in the 6th round, douchnozzle. Anyway, I digress. Tebow will be decent. With a good team, he'll be frustratingly decent.
Jimmy Clausen is this buttplug who played at the prestigious Notre Dame program. Holy bolagna!! He was with the Irish! He must be great! Anyway, he's "eh" and he looks a lot more like a fetus than last "can't miss" Notre Dame signal caller, Brady Quinn.
Ah, and on the subject of the Mighty Quinn, let's talk about his successor at "back up QB whose name is chanted by the mighty fat drunks in the dawg pound." That would be Colt McCoy.
Mr. Colt is 6'1", 220ish. A real QB is around 6'5ish and in the mid 200s. Not that that should make a difference, it just gives you an idea of how out his weight class tis kid is.
Anyway.
Colt's claim to fame is that he owns the all time record for most wins at QB in NCAA history. Yep. The Longhorns fielded some REALLY great fucking teams that Tim Tebow's Gators didn't take that meaningless title.
Let's move on.
Last winter, I was at my parent's house, and my dad was fast asleep on the couch; a roaring fire in the hearth; the BCS championship game on the television. Colt McCoy vs. a good team.
Colt gets hit gently by a lineman; loses his ability to feel his right shoulder.
My dad jerks wide awake! "DON'T BE A PUSSY, COLT!" he yells.
Turns out McCoy had separated his shoulders or some shit like that. The narrative of the entire championship game went to whether he'd come back. At which point my dad said, "Boy, lissen to me. If you were hurt like that I woun'nt let 'em touch you. They can put all the needles in you they want. But you're not playing tonight. That arm is millions. You do not mess with that."
What makes me happy is knowing that million dollar arm is now my old-man's problem.
Here...
Here is the definitive drunk post on the subject.
In 2010 there were about 6 or 7 pro-quality QBs available in the draft. Foremost were the big four:
-Sam Bradford
-Tim Tebow
-Jimmy Clausen
-Colt McCoy
Bradford will be fine. He plays for a shit team, but give him a couple of concussions and some 4-12 seasons, and he'll start to want it. He'll want it enough to win, and he's got the talent to win.
Tebow is silly. He's a good player, a silly concept. Josh McDaniels is this 31 year old Super-Bro, who used to work for Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, and therefore got the idea that he was good at his job as QB coach. Someone else got the same idea and hired him as the head coach of the Broncos, where, in his second year, he drafted the most polarizing for least impact, rookie ever. Tebow is fine. He's this lefty, fatty QB who isn't really brilliant on his safety reads, but has a fine arm, and more importantly, GREAT legs. While his speed is only B+, his power running is fantastic, and he stops at nothing to gain the extra yard. He absolutely plays the game the right way. The right, inefficient way. That's Tebow. A lot of people thought he'd be the best QB ever; a lot of people thought he'd be the worst; Josh McDaniels thought he'd be a genius for trading up to draft Tebow in the first round. WRONG. You're a genius when you draft Tom Brady in the 6th round, douchnozzle. Anyway, I digress. Tebow will be decent. With a good team, he'll be frustratingly decent.
Jimmy Clausen is this buttplug who played at the prestigious Notre Dame program. Holy bolagna!! He was with the Irish! He must be great! Anyway, he's "eh" and he looks a lot more like a fetus than last "can't miss" Notre Dame signal caller, Brady Quinn.
Ah, and on the subject of the Mighty Quinn, let's talk about his successor at "back up QB whose name is chanted by the mighty fat drunks in the dawg pound." That would be Colt McCoy.
Mr. Colt is 6'1", 220ish. A real QB is around 6'5ish and in the mid 200s. Not that that should make a difference, it just gives you an idea of how out his weight class tis kid is.
Anyway.
Colt's claim to fame is that he owns the all time record for most wins at QB in NCAA history. Yep. The Longhorns fielded some REALLY great fucking teams that Tim Tebow's Gators didn't take that meaningless title.
Let's move on.
Last winter, I was at my parent's house, and my dad was fast asleep on the couch; a roaring fire in the hearth; the BCS championship game on the television. Colt McCoy vs. a good team.
Colt gets hit gently by a lineman; loses his ability to feel his right shoulder.
My dad jerks wide awake! "DON'T BE A PUSSY, COLT!" he yells.
Turns out McCoy had separated his shoulders or some shit like that. The narrative of the entire championship game went to whether he'd come back. At which point my dad said, "Boy, lissen to me. If you were hurt like that I woun'nt let 'em touch you. They can put all the needles in you they want. But you're not playing tonight. That arm is millions. You do not mess with that."
What makes me happy is knowing that million dollar arm is now my old-man's problem.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I guess here are some thoughts on football...
I no longer know how writing about football works. This is due to a poor career choice and normal, but uncommon in recent history, league parity. Let's hit some points of interest.
The Browns made the most satisfying trade of the offseason. Brady Quinn is this pretty boy who is literally all face and no arm. He played QB in the prestigious Notre Dame program; won nothing, but got a lot of acclaim for being pretty. Then every team in football passed on him in the draft, until the Browns traded to get a second crack at the first round. They got him. The Cleveland fans spent two-and-a-half seasons chanting the name of this backup fuckup whenever their starter would struggle, then they saw him in action. He was good enough to lose a lot of games, get picked in the flats, and miss completions down field. Absolutely terrible.
Then Mike Holmgren came in, traded the Mighty Quinn to the Broncos for Peyton Hillis.
We'll give immediate props to Hillis for seconding Peyton as a legit first name; mild props to him for coincidentally carrying that first name into an industry that already houses the only other dude in the world named Peyton; and then mega props for being this big, fatty, white guy who can carry a ball forward for almost 5 yards at a time. Yeah. The Browns traded their first-round QB for a fullback, and that fullback turned out to be a quality powerback while Brady Quinn pretends to be in between Tim Tebow and professional football. That's satisfying. Will Hillis be able to run against the Steelers? Highly doubtful. Then again... he ran 144 yards against the Ravens, last week. That's kind of phenomenal for a 6'1", 240 dude who is only 24 years old.
As my old man likes to say whenever Hillis touches the ball: "Ha!... Brady ****ing Quinn!"
Most ridiculous thing: probably Kansas City being undefeated. They're fine. They're probably doing the right things as an organization to right the ship. But they're not 2-0. Not 3-0. Not 8-0, which is what Denver was this time of year in 2009.
San Diego is falling apart in lovely fashion. They were always good, save for one weak link; then they were fake good, due to two weak links; then they were frauds with many weak links; then they were wasting good teams' time in the playoffs for the last couple of years. Here's the specific history: Tomlinson was the best RB of the 2000's, then he got Phillip Rivers at QB, and like 3 basketball player TEs/WRs to compliment him; the Chargers went to a 3-4 when Norv Turner took over; then Norv didn't have the DEs to make it work; then Rivers didn't have the speed receivers; then Norv had the DEs but his NT was always hurt and his secondary sucked; then LT was apparently washed up, even though Rivers was a phenomenal QB with just a brilliant passer rating; then Vincent Jackson, the giant WR wanted out; then the Chargers gutted their run system, kind of traded Jackson, had no NT, no CBs, and pretty much expected Rivers and his TE Antonio Gates to fix everything. Rivers and Gates have been outstanding, thus far. Rivers and Gates do not play special teams or defense. House of cards.
The Ravens SHOULD BE scary. They have a perfectly good defense, complimented -- no! complimenting -- their potentially great offense. Joe Flacco needs to realize that he is the man. Not Ray Rice, not Willis McGahee, not LeRon McClain. Not even fucking Jamal Lewis. Joe Flacco is a good enough QB that Ozzie "best GM in football?" Newsome surrounded him with Derrick Mason, Anquan Boldin, Todd Heap and TJ Houshmandzadeh. That's as balanced a receiving corps as you'll find in football. Especially when you consider that Ray Rice plays the part of the fifth Beatle; receiving in the flats, and shakin'-n'bakin his way for serious yards after catch. First three weeks: Ravens have looked uncertain and scared. Last 30 minutes of week 4: Ravens looked like they might be finding something scary. Flacco can make the passes and Baltimore will work, so long as he follows through and calls up the plays.
I have a lot to say about the Steelers' defense but that will have to wait for later this week. G'night!
The Browns made the most satisfying trade of the offseason. Brady Quinn is this pretty boy who is literally all face and no arm. He played QB in the prestigious Notre Dame program; won nothing, but got a lot of acclaim for being pretty. Then every team in football passed on him in the draft, until the Browns traded to get a second crack at the first round. They got him. The Cleveland fans spent two-and-a-half seasons chanting the name of this backup fuckup whenever their starter would struggle, then they saw him in action. He was good enough to lose a lot of games, get picked in the flats, and miss completions down field. Absolutely terrible.
Then Mike Holmgren came in, traded the Mighty Quinn to the Broncos for Peyton Hillis.
We'll give immediate props to Hillis for seconding Peyton as a legit first name; mild props to him for coincidentally carrying that first name into an industry that already houses the only other dude in the world named Peyton; and then mega props for being this big, fatty, white guy who can carry a ball forward for almost 5 yards at a time. Yeah. The Browns traded their first-round QB for a fullback, and that fullback turned out to be a quality powerback while Brady Quinn pretends to be in between Tim Tebow and professional football. That's satisfying. Will Hillis be able to run against the Steelers? Highly doubtful. Then again... he ran 144 yards against the Ravens, last week. That's kind of phenomenal for a 6'1", 240 dude who is only 24 years old.
As my old man likes to say whenever Hillis touches the ball: "Ha!... Brady ****ing Quinn!"
Most ridiculous thing: probably Kansas City being undefeated. They're fine. They're probably doing the right things as an organization to right the ship. But they're not 2-0. Not 3-0. Not 8-0, which is what Denver was this time of year in 2009.
San Diego is falling apart in lovely fashion. They were always good, save for one weak link; then they were fake good, due to two weak links; then they were frauds with many weak links; then they were wasting good teams' time in the playoffs for the last couple of years. Here's the specific history: Tomlinson was the best RB of the 2000's, then he got Phillip Rivers at QB, and like 3 basketball player TEs/WRs to compliment him; the Chargers went to a 3-4 when Norv Turner took over; then Norv didn't have the DEs to make it work; then Rivers didn't have the speed receivers; then Norv had the DEs but his NT was always hurt and his secondary sucked; then LT was apparently washed up, even though Rivers was a phenomenal QB with just a brilliant passer rating; then Vincent Jackson, the giant WR wanted out; then the Chargers gutted their run system, kind of traded Jackson, had no NT, no CBs, and pretty much expected Rivers and his TE Antonio Gates to fix everything. Rivers and Gates have been outstanding, thus far. Rivers and Gates do not play special teams or defense. House of cards.
The Ravens SHOULD BE scary. They have a perfectly good defense, complimented -- no! complimenting -- their potentially great offense. Joe Flacco needs to realize that he is the man. Not Ray Rice, not Willis McGahee, not LeRon McClain. Not even fucking Jamal Lewis. Joe Flacco is a good enough QB that Ozzie "best GM in football?" Newsome surrounded him with Derrick Mason, Anquan Boldin, Todd Heap and TJ Houshmandzadeh. That's as balanced a receiving corps as you'll find in football. Especially when you consider that Ray Rice plays the part of the fifth Beatle; receiving in the flats, and shakin'-n'bakin his way for serious yards after catch. First three weeks: Ravens have looked uncertain and scared. Last 30 minutes of week 4: Ravens looked like they might be finding something scary. Flacco can make the passes and Baltimore will work, so long as he follows through and calls up the plays.
I have a lot to say about the Steelers' defense but that will have to wait for later this week. G'night!
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